chaosofbattle:

sorjuanas:

“ugly, bitter, and true” suzanne rivecca // “faulty” leila chatti // “waiting” marya hornbacher // “blue rotunda” louise glück

TRANSCRIPT IMAGE 1: “It has to be perfect. It has to be irreproachable in every way.”

“Why?” she said.

“To make up for it,” I said. “To make up for the fact that it’s me.”

2: I wanted to be loved more

than I wanted to be

alive. For so long

I thought not to be

loved is good but to be loved

is to be good

All those years, convinced — surely

I must be bad, the way

you keep punishing me.

3: We so often believe that in order to be loved, we must be perfect. Better than human. Not human. It’s a form of arrogance, really. My notion that I could ever be perfect, and gain the love and respect I so craved for that perfection, was predicated on a faith in my own superhuman self. I believed that if I just tried a little harder, I could shake off the demons that tapped my shoulder; if I talked a little louder, I could drown out the sound of my whispering secrets; if I ran a little faster, I’d be a blur, and then no one could see the ragtag mess that I was.

4: I want it

to be my fault

she said

so I can fix it—